When you start selling a VN and advertising it as a romance story, you don't get to whine and bitch about people wanting a romance story.
kaiotikid
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A member registered Sep 18, 2018
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This has definitely been an amazing experience, I'm glad I could help. I'm glad you liked the feedback, and I love how quickly you responded. I was initially hesitant to post my comment, afraid to come off as entitled or whiny, but I'm glad I posted it after receiving such an amazingly detailed response. You've certainly convinced me that this VN is in good hands, and I'm excited to see what's to come! I appreciate you taking the time to address community concerns as transparently as possible while still keeping the plot a surprise, and I trust you'll make a great story!
Oh, absolutely! If it helps you, I'm perfectly happy to let you do that! I'll admit, I spent a good few hours going over what I'd written and replaying the game to see if any of my criticisms changed, so it's nice to hear my effort is appreciated. Looking forward to seeing what comes next, and excited for the future of the VN!
I'm liking the story so far. I played the first update and decided to give it some time to progress before judging it further, so now that I've come back to see how it's come along, I've prepared a few thoughts on the matter.
So far, it seems like the voice for the MC isn't established at all. Sometimes it seems like he has entirely realistic reactions, only to completely 180 in the same scene for no discernable reason. It feels like the character is contradictory to himself, and the pacing seems to be part of the issue. I saw in another comment that this is essentially just the first act of 20, but that means that the MC's reactions change so suddenly that it's off-putting and feels forced for the sake of story progression. That said, another comment assured a reason for his readiness to accept the existence of all these new revelations, though that doesn't explain why he simply trusts everything they say without demanding more answers, particularly from Skoll, who MC immediately agrees to help with no information about how, why, or who they are.
My second criticism: it feels like the MC treats the Wolf Giants like they're pets rather than people sometimes, with all the scratching and intimate gestures that you would never do to a stranger let alone someone who followed you and entered home in secret and uninvited like Arkyn. Other times, MC acts like they're lovers already despite knowing little about them and for less than a week. Though, as I'm writing, I also realize the three treat the MC just as familiarly, which is just as concerning. They all get way too close way too fast under their circumstances. I'm suddenly wondering if this is tied as well to the reason the MC is so accepting of everything, though if that's the case, it doesn't exactly feel like it is. I feel that, based on what information is available at the time, a moment to acknowledge or question how abnormally intimate they are might be beneficial. And if any of this is simply due to a difference in cultures between mine and yours (whichever it may be), I apologize for being presumptuous and ignorant.
Lastly, the abilities of a Finder seem like an interesting an important piece of lore and integral to the story on paper, but the execution feels more like it's a macguffin -- a magical excuse to advance the story. Ever since it was introduced, it felt like the MC lost all autonomy in his life. It felt less like the MC was pushing the story forward, and more like the story was dragging the MC along. Having an ability that acts as a guide for the character is a tricky thing for this reason - the ability starts to feel more important than the character himself.
Keep in mind these are my personal thoughts on the matter, and I don't fully know what you have in store that might make me change my view on the matter. I hate to think this might be discouraging for you to hear, but I'd rather voice these concerns early and be assured that things are either well in hand or being addressed as you feel necessary than to let things go unspoken until it's too late to do anything.
That said, I'd rather not leave a comment full of just negativity, so I'd like to move on to the positives that I've noticed. For one, you did well at making the wolves feel like real people, the complexity certainly caught me off guard. It's a breath of fresh air among more one-note characters in some of the VNs I've been trying lately. The way they speak feels familiarly modern, while still feeling just off enough to remind you that they're not from Midgard.
Additionally, I found myself entertained with how you'd set up scenes to appear one way, only to turn them on their head at the peak, using common tropes and omitting specific information to create a scene that changes tone with a single word.
Finally, it's easy to tell how much you've put into this VN. The lore and its consistency, the near complete lack of spelling/grammar mistakes, the projected scope; it all comes together to show your dedication to making Wayfinder as perfect as you can, which in turn makes me excited to see what's in store for the future.
I sincerely enjoyed my time reading your VN, and I can't wait to find out where this story leads and what your plans are. I wish you all the luck in this endeavor.
1. I personally am fine with any position.
2. Assuming Asterion is fine with it, then some thinly veiled promises, less SFW PDA, etc.
3. Refer to answer 2.
4. Sauna, a hot spring, things like that. Also, while not R&D, it would be interesting to create a new, binding contract that forces both to abide by a safe word and requires both parties to consent before sex.
5. I feel Asterion might be alright with certain public displays (see answers below), but draw the line at full on public sex, so if the room has no lock, no sex. Personally, I'd enjoy some optional watersports content, but am unsure how he would feel about it. Potential threesomes seem like they're a no-go. BDSM is off the table, but leather might still be appealing to him.
6. A few public ass grabs or a foot on his bulge below the dining area table.
7. Trapping the MC against a wall for some flirting/teasing, some quick gropes during a hug. For some scenes, I'd enjoy the option for a dominant bottom Asterion.
8. I feel Asterion might have developed a slight praise kink, maybe a breeding kink, musk seems likely. He'd love more soft, tender lovemaking mixed in with some of the kinkier stuff, in my opinion.
Version 0.11 - Rune & Devon update comments · Replied to DlukzoteAndCo. in Version 0.11 - Rune & Devon update comments
I'm just suspicious by nature. Mikko's hug is the one constant event regardless of which table you sit at. Combine that with the fact that Mikko wanted to share a room with the protagonist, as well as the unresolved tension from when the protagonist suddenly grew distant in their past, and you get a plan to try to force the protagonist into sharing a room with Mikko. This would not only bring the two closer together, but also guarantee a time and place for Mikko to confront the protagonist about his past evasiveness.
I get the vibe that he's got a bad case of 'hero worship' or something along that line directed towards the player's father, like when he says he could never call 'the son of Yorke' by first name.
That line in particular set off MASSIVE warning bells in my head, like he's either buttering up the player to get something in return, or else only showing the player such respect to get in his father's good graces.
BEYOND THE HARBOR: Indefinite Hiatus comments · Posted in BEYOND THE HARBOR: Indefinite Hiatus comments
Of course, take all the time you need! I've seen too many people burn out because they just pushed themselves too hard. I'd rather have you cancel the project than risk your own health. Sure, I'd be disappointed, but I'd also understand the reasons for such a choice. So please, take your time and remember your health comes first.